


In Case of Dire Consequences

by Brumeier



Series: As Seen On TV [15]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, Friendship, Historical References, M/M, More Joy Day Fest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22285210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: Rodney never asked for anything from John, and the one time he did, John wasn't sure he could bring himself to help.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: As Seen On TV [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1026666
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79





	In Case of Dire Consequences

**Author's Note:**

  * For [respoftw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/gifts).



> TV Fusion: Good Omens
> 
> In celebration of More Joy Day, for my friend respoftw!

**Scotland, 1902**

_Holy water_

Those words popped up in John’s head at the oddest times, when he was busy doing other things. Like trying to finish _War and Peace_ in the original Russian, which he’d been working on for roughly the last hundred and ten years. Or inspiring greater strides in human aeronautics, which was one of his pet projects.

Today he was golfing at Carnoustie, battling the wind that wanted to send his ball everywhere but in the hole. He could’ve miracled himself up a perfect day, but he liked the challenge. He did do a quick change into plaid golf pants after the wind kicked his kilt up for the umpteenth time. 

And then the memory popped back up like a wayward gopher.

_They were just two men in a crowd, everyone gathered around to see the historical meeting of the rail lines that would form the first transcontinental railroad. John was well aware of the significance to humans, who would now be able to travel from coast to coast more easily and transport goods more efficiently, but the whole ceremony was kind of a joke. The first two so-called dignitaries who tried to hammer in that golden spike missed the mark._

_“I need a favor,” Rodney said, apropos of nothing._

_Despite the heat of the day in Utah, Rodney looked cool as a cucumber in his fancy suit and the sunglasses he wore to hide his demon eyes. John, on the other hand, was incredibly uncomfortable and wished he could lose a layer or two._

_“What is it?” John asked, suspicious. Rodney never asked for anything._

_“I need you to get me something. In case our circumstance turns dire.”_

_“What circumstance?”_

_Rodney scowled at him. “Don’t be an idiot, Angel. There’s always a chance your side or mine will figure out what we’ve been doing. Maybe your side will give you a strongly worded evaluation, but mine will be brutal. I need to make sure I have a backup plan.”_

_John was well aware that the arrangement he and Rodney had struck was wrong, at least in the eyes of his fellow angels. He knew there’d be bigger consequences for him than a strongly worded evaluation – the archangels in particular could be very unforgiving – but John had to admit he liked the new arrangement. If pressed, he might even admit he liked Rodney. That would get him in the most trouble, if his counterparts ever found out._

_“What kind of backup plan?”_

_Rodney handed him a slip of paper with two words written on it:_ holy water.

_John’s hand clenched around the note and a strange sensation moved through him, something he’d never felt before. A mix of fear and anger and something else he couldn’t quite identify._

_“No!” He threw the paper back at Rodney, but it merely fluttered to the ground and unobtrusively burst into flame. “I won’t help you kill yourself.”_

_A world without Rodney was unthinkable. He’d been there right from the beginning, slithering through the Garden and tempting Eve with the thing he most valued. Knowledge._

_“You think I want to make a death cocktail for myself? Honestly, I don’t know why I even bother talking to you.”_

_“Why else would you want it?” John asked._

_Holy water was dangerous to demons. One drop would be incredibly painful. More than that could kill them. It would be an agonizing death, and there was no being miracled back to life after. If Rodney died that way, he’d be dead forever._

_“That’s my business.” Rodney raised his chin and, though his eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses, John could tell he was staring right at him. Challenging him._

_John wasn’t about to let himself be baited. “No.”_

_“Fine!” Rodney snapped._

_And as a railway worker who actually knew what the hell he was doing finally struck that golden spike home, Rodney vanished._

John swung and watched dispassionately as his golf ball sliced off into the rough. His head wasn’t in the game. Rodney had that effect on him. He still wasn’t sure why.

*o*o*o*

**New York City, 1965**

John didn’t care for the city. It was dirty and crime-ridden, and the Hudson River was a cesspool. He preferred sunny California, with the endless beaches and clean, salty ocean air. In fact, he was becoming quite a good surfer. Rodney thought an adrenalin-junkie Angel was ridiculous, and maybe it was, but John got a lot of pleasure from going fast and flying high and riding a gnarly wave.

Rodney was the reason John was in the city. He’d gotten wind of an impending heist, one involving a church which was how the information found its way to John’s ear in the first place. Word on the street was that Rodney was putting together a crew, like he thought he was Frank Sinatra in _Ocean’s 11_. 

Consequences must’ve been getting dire indeed.

John was still grappling with his emotions about Rodney. Which was probably due to the fact that most angels didn’t have a dearth of feelings. The Father had created them to serve and follow orders. Humans, on the other hand, have been imbued with every possible emotion and the ability to make their own choices. It wasn’t hard to understand why Lucifer had led his little revolution. 

Sometimes John wondered if the Fallen had found a way to get in touch with feelings they weren’t supposed to have. Jealousy was a powerful emotion. John had seen it enough on Earth, seen how it ripped people apart and destroyed relationships.

Love was a powerful emotion too and could be just as destructive. John was pretty sure he’d been feeling that one, in different variations, for more years that he cared to admit. That inconvenient feeling was the reason he’d tracked Rodney down to a seedy bar on the Lower East Side.

“Oh, wonderful. What’re you doing here?” Rodney was sitting at a small table in the back, the top of it covered in empty glasses and bottles and little puddles of spilled alcohol. A cigarette was still smoldering in the over-full ashtray. He clearly hadn’t been alone.

John slid into one of the empty chairs. “I heard some idiot was planning a heist at St. Patrick’s. Wondered if you knew anything about it.”

“Why would I rob a church? Jesus was an okay guy, but I don’t need a statue of him in my living room.”

There were times John really hated the sunglasses, because it was hard to get a read on Rodney without being able to see his eyes. So he reached over and snatched them right off Rodney’s face. 

“Hey!”

“It’s dark enough in here, and everyone’s drunk,” John assured him. “No-one will see.”

Rodney glared at him, his yellow, snake-like eyes gleaming even in the dim, smoky bar. That should’ve been off-putting, but somehow it wasn’t. Inconvenient emotions again.

“Don’t rob the church,” John said. “Something could go wrong. It’s not safe for you.”

“I wouldn’t even be going inside, stupid.” Rodney reclaimed his sunglasses but didn’t put them on. “I have people for that.”

“Do you trust them not to accidentally maim or kill you with a religious artefact?”

“You turned me down, remember? You hardly have room to criticize.”

It was now or never, and John didn’t care for the way his heart was pounding so forcefully in his chest. He produced an average-looking thermos and set it on the table amidst all the empties.

“You can call off your heist.”

Rodney stared at the thermos. “Is that holy water?”

“The holiest,” John promised. “Don’t break the seal.”

“But…you were so adamant about not helping me. What changed your mind?” Rodney turned his intense gaze on John, who had to look away.

“Better me helping than you accidentally dumping the stuff all over yourself and melting like the Wicked Witch of the West.”

The sunglasses went back on and Rodney carefully picked up the thermos. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll only use it if there’s no other choice, not even the slightest sliver of a chance that things could work out.”

“I will,” Rodney promised solemnly. “John, this…I really appreciate you doing this for me.”

“I owed you,” John said. “For that thing in Columbia.”

“Thing? What thing? Oh, never mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“Can I give you a ride somewhere? Maybe someplace with fewer rats?”

Rodney snorted. “In that shiny new car of yours? No, thank you. You drive like a maniac.”

John didn’t bother asking how Rodney knew about his GTO, which hadn’t even existed the last time they’d crossed paths, but felt pleased that Rodney was keeping tabs on him.

“What if I promise to adhere to all safety regulations and posted speed limits?”

“In that case I accept your offer.” Rodney cradled the thermos like it was a child. “I’m hungry. Let’s get some dinner.”

“Don’t you know how late it is?” John asked, pulling out his car keys and walking with Rodney toward the door. “Nothing’s open now.”

“Well, it’s breakfast time somewhere in the world. How do you feel about crêpes?”

John felt pretty good about them.

*o*o*o*

**Pennsylvania, After It All Went Down**

John and Rodney sat together in the oversized easy chair, watching the sun set from Little Round Top. John would’ve been just as happy stretched out on the rocky ground, but Rodney liked to be comfortable. Hedonistic demon.

“I can’t believe you thought I’d use it on myself,” Rodney said. “When have I ever seemed suicidal to you?”

“You abandoned your side,” John pointed out. “That could be construed as suicidal.”

Rodney huffed out a laugh. “I guess you’d know. Angel see, Angel do.”

The holy water, as it turned out, was put in a bucket that was rigged to a partially open door like some kind of summer camp gag. It melted the unlucky demon that had walked through Rodney’s door, intent on returning him to Hell to face judgement. Which apparently had been the plan all along.

He’d known one hundred and seventeen years ago that he’d need that sort of protection one day. Rodney was a forward-thinking demon.

“It all worked out in the end,” John said good-naturedly. 

“That’s a gross oversimplification.”

“And also true.”

That sat in silence for a while after that as the reds streaked across the sky got deeper and the shadows in the valley grew longer. John had no trouble with stillness, but that was never something Rodney could put up with for too long.

“We’ve known each other for a long time,” Rodney said, fidgeting. “And after everything we’ve been through, forestalling the apocalypse and everything, I wanted to say…”

He trailed off, and John nudged him with his shoulder.

“Spit it out.”

“You’re a good friend,” Rodney said.

John couldn’t reply to that, because every emotion he’d ever felt was suddenly lodged in his throat. Instead, he shifted a little in the chair so he could rest his head on Rodney’s shoulder, and miracled them up a blanket while they waited for the stars to come out.

Friend. He liked the sound of that.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** So, imagine my surprise when I was looking through my WIP file and found this finished fic just hanging out in there, collecting cobwebs. Not sure how that happened, but I was more than happy to dust it off and wrap it in a shiny bow for Respo for More Joy Day. Because Respo shares my appreciation for demon!Rodney. ::grins::


End file.
